An ugly side: Anger

Message to friend, K.C. (via sms)

problem. meet at Springvale. dad might follow. I feel pissed. keeps saying crap about you. how does he get off talking shit like that? I dont need to get use to having independence he said. We go out too much he said, a joke? we went out 5 times these school holidays (2 months period) and the rest was spent at work. I used MY own money to support MY own education. how is that for independence? Call me tomorrow 9-10am



Just realised I got no credit…at least I voiced out my opinion. Projected my anger (love psychology!).

I guess I understand his views (my dad) that is;

  1. once you start you don’t stop (shopping, an addiction.. seems implausible), then again studies have shown shopping is as pleasurable as sex. Never did IT, but similar actions involving one party (myself) has been inflicted by me with only me -ahem!- The point is I understand.
  2. doing it for my good. I am sure he and my mother are. However, being a teenager, it is hard to see and act upon things benefit me in long term, as many in my age group are more likely to acting on instant impulses to gain short term satisfaction. This leads to substance abuse, emotional wellbeing, bad experiences, etc. So angry now and thankful in future.
  3. he is old, forgetful, cute, lovable and my dad. If he is reading this and understands English, I hope the first two pisses him off and, the last two, let me go out with my friend.

 Extra Info

At least, it’s better than him being a chaperon as he suggested in an authoritative manner, which is heard or seen rarely. As, my mother is the dominant head of the family, which is interesting considering the subservient, passive role she was continuously brought up to become as a child, whilst in Cambodian communities. Older photos (black and white) shows evidence of such qualities, with hands grasping each other and an innocence grin. What changed my mother to become quite the opposite is something quite drastic, possibly the Khmer Rogue Regime. As most of brothers do not exhibit any noticeable changes that I am aware of, my eldest (living) brother, has always been less talkative then most. Though this may truly be him, I can’t help but think of the degree of influence this tragic history played apart in my families’ lives. Though selfish, I also think how does this ultimately effects me?


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