Some times to not smile.

‘Rare occasion’ I thought. Mum talked to me today. No loudness to make a point, just talk. She looked at me in the eye and smiled, just with her eyes. My mother is strong and prideful; no sign of weakness must be seen, strength must always be shown in a way that is almost verbally audacious in Western society. Well, what is rude is not within the content of what she is saying but the tone and volume.

“Never swear because it’s rude”, I will never forget that.

I have not shown an unhappy face for a long time, especially in front of my mum. She was strong for me when I cried, so I wanted to be strong for her as I have never seen her cry. This led me to believe, as a child, ‘if the Earth continued revolving when someone cried, then why should we cry?’. I later figured the reason why we do, it because we are human and there’s another weakness we have. Empathy.

I wanted to cry for her but I knew how proud she was. I do not think sympathy is what she wanted. She threw a tantrum, it was like I was looking at my younger self through her eyes. So as she did when I was younger, I said nothing.

Whilst my silence, she blamed me, them and then herself. The loudness of her voice returned, though thought lost in the morning.

It was then I noticed that every step she took reflected her effort to subside her anger. I hoped.

Soon after, a stranger greeted us. Actually, a stranger she knew. God’s attempt to help lighten the mood, probably, and it worked. She smiled.

From there it was a quiet storm. Very, very quiet. Then an explosion of thunder and lightning halfway home.

She inferred ‘Are you okay?’

I inferred ‘It is fine, it will grow back’

She inferred ‘That’s true…’

I inferred ‘yep!’

Then from there a quiet beach with birds and people.

Looking for Lunch 
 It was the hairdresser’s fault, not mine. I said to follow the instruction my mum told you. I couldn’t see what they were doing, they told me to take of my glasses. Perfect! It’s a conspirasy to kill my hair’s health points by half (World of Warcraft talk).

They said ‘aren’t you a good girl?’. I said ‘Yep!’ God, soooo uncool! What could I say? Then they gave the wrong haircut. My mum threw a fit. Then the walk home… a very short walk. She was angry. Very angry.

Seriously, over hair. MY hair! Come on! Mum!

Eating Lunch with Mum


Eating lunch with Mum
 She looks happier 🙂


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