I dreamt of going to a cafe because I felt he was waiting.
In reality, he is not there.
I had a dream before of jumping off a building.
It appears I have fallen deeper into my fantasies and not out of it.
He is not there. He is not waiting. Why am I making the goals of my life directed to a person…. a figment of my imagination… yet someone who makes me laugh, even in my dreams…
Should I give up?
What should I live for then?
I hope to find an answer soon. Life is moving too fast.
It would not stop or slow down, an aspect of the world I find cruel.