The fear of the uncontrollable laughter in the hearts and souls of many, it dwells in the pit of my observing presence in my own life. The fear of others, their uncontrollable souls filled with hidden sin just waiting for them to reach a subjective hopelessness; whether it will be loss of a virginity or a draining presence fatiguing their just light. I wish for this light to make an everlasting impression once again. But no. It is lost. It’s existence no longer here, only the trailing hope lingers in its fading footsteps.

This conclusion is met with my own laughter; malicious in nature but what light this act brings is truth. So again I am at restless peace, waiting for the end of days in the corner of my mind guarding my precious virginal childhood self under lock and a key I have swallowed over and over. No one can take this from me yet I must be open to the world to be one with the light around surrounding my closed eyes. There is always light behind the lids I choose to keep close. It is only my doubt and fear which keeps me.

I will never give in the darkness I brought upon myself as a result of the pain and harm I have. I will kneel with my pride, courageous heart and ask for help. So someone will come because someone always does, even if that someone may be yourself.


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