Drown Deep.

With dreams I found a way into my own heart,
with wings I flew upon kindness of others whom willingly fell and depart.

We flew slow with tears so oceans were made,
but clouds were swift to pave their way,
as the crescent moon hung still above the seas’ bay.

It was a rush of frustration,
a time of reconciliation,
life of mourning,
whilst more tore in.

“So to my goddesses and gods, I plead to give me hope,
life is not so bitter sweet… is it not?”

The time has come for the awakening of the hidden,
the removal of dread,
a time of change from the very bottom of the sea bed.

So I ask, in my own rage, “remember me well,
for I am human with wings that you can not quell!”


Embrace The Right Hand.

Oh, eternal night,
You are the spaces between light,
The half I could not see,
My living controversy,
Always beneath painting,
You in essence, lamenting.

A gentle caress,
Made our empty spaces last,
It was neither your hand nor whisper,
That made my heart whimper,
Sometimes simply your shoulder near mine,
Maybe when our fingers intertwine,
Or your kiss after we wake,
Or gratitude for when I bake,
Then again, it is every time,
Darling… mine.

You ponder of me woefully,
It is love beyond our years, you see,
You are everything and more to me,
Even though you maybe imaginary.

I can only imagine you when I am small,
I can only touch you when I fall,
I can only hear you when I do not breath,
You can only be when I weep.

Always, you wish for me to seek light,
Remind me of those who will make me forget this plight,
Yet your dark embrace is what I remember,
As in my heart it remains yours – cold, wintery and always December.

You are strong, you deserve better.

Beat, beat, beat, my drug,

drifting life… I want to be in love,

I know the pain,

soul filled rain,

pressure on my chest,

grip on my neck,

“just let go”,


strength in the quiet breath,

weight of life left,

I will not let go, promise, yes, not yet not yet.


Writing is my way to release… me.

My family does not want to understand themselves and I, but they are my family. Sadly, this is one of few reasons I can find to move on from them and still love them.

They view life through rose petaled glass, so did I for most of my life. I was beginning to see when I was very young and yet I only begun to understand.


Listening to ‘You deserve better’ by Verbal Jint


Endless expanse above my mortal breath,

Withering flame of blackest depth,

the burden,

the sins,

its weight upon gasp lost and left,

yet I must feel,

its curse bestowed, and its blessing,

I lay in submission awaiting fated endings,

it flickers and silence became voice to my ascending,

fade, my love,

for I am free.